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Fluffy Clouds
Heidi-Liz Johnson

When the Theatre Tells You "Give Me More!", But You Don't Have More To Give


It is 2023, and I think that "I'm fine" is easily the most common lie we tell. If we were to take a worldwide survey and ask who is tired / who is struggling / who needs time to recoup from this, that, or the other, I would be truly shocked if anyone could honestly answer "no".


EEEEEEEEEEEVERY job is always asking for more -- more of our time, our focus, our effort, etc. -- and in the theatre world specifically, there's that silly little phrase that some directors love to overuse: "Give me more". Firstly, if that's all you tell me, I need you to give me more: what in the world do you mean? But secondly, we're all already giving so much, and while our proverbial wells are deeper in certain seasons of life, they are by no means boundless, ever. And you have to know your bounds.


I've been forcibly reminded of my own bounds recently. Four separate trips to seek medical attention for various ailments -- including one lovely day in the ER -- in less than a month has left me feeling conflicted: I feel completely exhausted by every visit, I feel frustrated with my own body for not working the way I'd like, and I also feel guilty that I'm not functioning at 100% and that my time recently has not been more productive. We're all so conditioned to be productive that even going to the hospital is not enough to convince me to give myself a pass.

So this reminder is as much for me as it is for everyone reading: there is nothing wrong with rest.


Let me say that again (with more feeling this time). THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH REST.


We are not machines, and even if we were, machines can't even run nonstop either! They need a chance to recharge or refuel before getting back to it, or, if running on electricity, they have to balance their output to avoid blowing a fuse.


As an actor, your job includes giving not only your physical and mental energy, but your emotional energy as well, and it's taxing. If you don't properly prepare yourself for that or try to force more energy while running on E, you won't be doing yourself any favors as you inevitably can't give your best performance. Yes, you should be off-book in all your new material; yes, you should be doing your research into new shows and reading plays to be as theatrically versatile as you can; yes, you should be finding new song cuttings or monologues to round out your audition book; yes, you should be submitting for every audition possible or attending every audition that gets posted... BUT. You know what you need to do? Sleep. Unwind. Allow your mind and body to catch up with you. Because that's the only way you can perform at the standard you've set for yourself.


So do me a favor: finish up whatever work has to get done today, but after that, do whatever it is you need to do to decompress from your day / week. Go for a walk and stroll at a leisurely pace. Call up a loved one and talk about anything but work. Cuddle with your dog / cat / pet until you feel your shoulders relax, then keep cuddling. Watch the episodes of the show you're behind on and are desperate to get back to. Turn on some music and turn off your brain. Close your eyes and just breathe.


And my actors out there, if that means you don't audition for this show or put off submitting that self-tape until the last minute because you need more time to breathe? That's okay, I promise there will be other opportunities when you're ready. Give yourself permission to enjoy some much-needed relaxation. Notice I said much-needed and not deserved because that implies you have to earn it -- rest is not a reward for hard work, it's a necessity that you have every right to at any time.


As soon as I get home from the audition I'm writing this from, I promise to do the same. And one more reminder that everyone always needs to hear: you don't know what the person next to you is dealing with, nor how they're feeling, at any given time. Kindness is free and easy to share, so don't forget to take plenty with you when you're out and about this week.


Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and please please please make time to rebalance the load you're carrying.

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