I don't think this is a new conversation by any stretch of the imagination, but as an introvert myself, this topic affects me daily. To the shock of many, there are hundreds, thousands, of introverts in the performance industry. It's rather common actually (just Google "introvert actors" and you'll find countless names, articles, talk shows, etc.). Yes, we chose a career path that has us absolutely surrounded by people 24/7 (sometimes in extremely close proximity). Said career path demands that we be "on" -- whether we like it or not -- in the holding room, in auditions, in rehearsals, in interviews supporting a project, in performances, at the stage door, and beyond. The expectations on introverts in the performance field in essence demands that we act both on and off stage.
First of all, let’s dispel the myth of what an introvert is: an introvert is not just a shy person, a recluse, a hermit. These are the people whose psyche is recharged by time spent alone -- reflective, quiet, personal time -- unlike their counterpoints, who are energized by time spent with other people -- in conversation, partying, group activities, you get the idea. It is estimated that 26% of the population falls into the introvert category, but the misunderstanding of the label still carries a bit of stigma. In the performing arts, this presentation can cause additional challenges.
To some extent, we ALL put on masks when we're in our various social situations to match the energies of those around us. For example, you might wear a work mask, a family mask, this friend group mask, this other friend group mask, our online persona mask, and so on and so forth, and only those you're closest with get to see the you without a mask. Now I can't specifically speak to an extrovert's experience, but I have to think that the introverts have a.... higher expectation? Because they're expected to not only pick up the enthusiasm for socialization, but they're expected to be as social as the extroverts.
Mychal and I have been talking a lot lately about branding and establishing how we want to project ourselves as actors, and this topic is something to think about. Because see, that's what sets this industry apart in regard to this conversation: if you're in any other industry, what type of mask you wear in various circles is your business and yours alone. But in the performing arts, it's everyone's business because you and how you present yourself is the business, just as you are a product.
The exhausting inner monologue of the introverted actor goes something like this:
What if the holding room monitor takes note of the fact that I'm sitting by myself reading a book while everyone else is chatting and visiting with each other? Will they tell casting? And what will casting think of that? What if I don't make easy conversation in the audition room with the people at the table? Will they read that as me being aloof? What if I don't talk to everyone in the cast and put in enough face time at this cast party? Will someone think I ignored them on purpose or that I don't like them? What if I sit over here in rehearsal, rather than over there with everyone else? Will the director think everyone dislikes me? Or worse, will they assume I'm difficult to work with? Will they tell other directors I'm difficult to work with? Will this cost me a job?
You can see how the spiraling goes from there -- and how easy it is to go there. But as you can surely imagine, it's disheartening to think in that way, to think that a natural instinct or a simple need for more alone time / time recharging is something that could go so far as to negatively affect our career trajectory. But it's unfortunately undeniable in such a public line of work.
Now that I'm sure you think I look very much like Charlie here (thank you, Always Sunny team, for this gem of a scene), I'll apologize for the stream of consciousness you just read. But I say all this and risk sounding like a conspiracy theorist to simply ask: there has to be a balance, hasn't there? Just because the barometer for "acceptable public interaction" has been set for centuries by extroverts, introverts should not feel or be pressured into adapting who they are to meet such a standard. My preference for going home and playing video games in place of a post-show bar crawl or reading in the holding room rather that engaging in small talk is my way of taking care of “me”.
I'm determined to find balance, and I'd like to think that my fellow introverts will agree. Projecting an inauthentic version of ourselves doesn't do anyone any favors, so our masks shouldn't be entirely fabricated to match what we think the world wants from us. We are all pretty great exactly as is, and considering there is only one of each of us in this world, why wouldn't we want to showcase our unique selves? I'd like to spread a little more of that around.
Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and sound off in the comments if you too have been personally victimized by overstimulation on an empty social meter.
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