Being "Productive" Without Being Productive

If you're anything like me, you have a hard time putting responsibility aside when you physically need a break. For the last five consecutive days, I've been battling a variation of a headache. Some days -- or even some hours -- have been worse then others, stepping in and out of migraine territory, and with an ever-fluctuating rehearsal / performance schedule, it becomes difficult to ignore the body's pleas for rest on "off" days. But as we all know too well about this industry, "off" days are not truly off: there's always something I could and should be doing, from looking over material for an upcoming project to browsing the forums for the next audition to submit for. So when I've booked myself on my days away from the theatre to get some homework done, I feel guilty at the mere idea of changing my plans to instead take care of myself.

Now, we've talked about taking care of yourself on this blog and listening to your body when it demands a minute to catch up. I stand by that! To the best of my ability, I have been allowing myself some grace and recouping when I don't have to be commuting into the city. But it's a struggle when there are definitive deadlines that demand I keep up with my homework -- the show must go on, after all!

So what do you do when you're caught between these two ideas? I am here to tell you (to give you permission, really) to find a balance that works for you. That balance will shift day to day depending on what giving 100% looks like (yes, you are always giving 100% every single day, but the "amount" may feel different based on what you are physically and mentally capable of in those 24 hours -- do not let anyone make you feel otherwise!). So prioritize the things that absolutely cannot be put off and reschedule the rest: there is no harm in trying again tomorrow when you have another night's sleep to recharge.

For me over these last few difficult days, the balance has looked like:

-Playing music I need to learn on repeat in earbuds while I tend to other necessary chores

-Listening to recorded lines I need to familiarize myself with while lying in a dark room

-Setting actual timers to ensure equity between work and rest (i.e. giving my entire focus to this task for 30 minutes, then I can close my eyes for 30 minutes)

-Talking myself down when my body simply will not cooperate (and asking for help and encouragement when I need someone else to tell me it's okay to put my health first)

Today's the first day in the last five days that I haven't woken up with a headache and that my 100% doesn't seem like less than 50%. I say all this to simply remind you -- remind all of us -- that you don't need permission to survive the day. Eventually, you will get back to thriving, but there is nothing wrong with just surviving, doing the bare minimum to get through. Because guess what? In those moments, the "bare minimum" felt like climbing a mountain and should be given that respect.

So if you're struggling at all, whether it be a physical or a mental battle, here's my invitation to find your own ways of being "productive" without being productive. Do what you absolutely must do to keep afloat, and put the rest off until they must be addressed. I promise, you're doing enough. And if you have any other tips, tricks, hacks, or how-tos that you think might benefit this community, feel free to drop a comment down below.

Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and remember to breathe.