I don't know exactly why, but I've determined that a lot of actors / performers in general are perfectionists. We hold ourselves to obscenely high standards, we drill audition material until we're blue in the face, we continuously wrestle with the need to try another take when self-taping because that one note was off, we beat ourselves up over the tiniest details that went wrong in the audition room, we fixate on mistakes made on stage that an audience surely did not notice, and so on and so forth. Is it a need to prove our worth? A desperate need for validation? A desire for the spotlight and the accolades? Whatever the reason, it's rampant in the performing arts!
Trust me, this topic is as much of a reminder for me as it is for all you readers out there! Perfection is impossible, full stop. Let me say that again: PERFECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE, FULL STOP. We can strive for greatness, we can reach to achieve the best of ourselves, and we can try our hardest -- whatever that means on the given day -- but being perfect is never going to happen. So maybe show yourself some grace, yeah?
I follow an amazing performer and vocal coach on Instagram (and you should too!), Emily Kristen Morris (Instagram: @emilykristenmorris), and a few months back, she posted a video that has stuck with me after all this time. Emily recently ended her contract with the Broadway national tour of Wicked where she played the Elphaba standby, meaning she was the first to be called in if the principal Elphaba was unable to perform. In this particular video, she talks about the anxiety that comes with being a standby for a role like Elphaba, in which she has to be ready at the drop of a hat to perform one of theatre's most iconic (and demanding) roles in front of thousands with little to no warning. Her first comment on the topic? How quickly she had to get comfortable with being imperfect.
While discussing this topic throughout the rest of the video, she nonchalantly uses the phrase "recovering perfectionist", and it threw me for a loop when I first heard it. I swear I went through the five stages of grief grappling with it, trying to accept that being a perfectionist was a negative thing! Doesn't everyone expect the best of their ability? Isn't that the whole point? I thought to myself. There's nothing wrong with wanting perfection!
Ahh, except there is, Heidi-Liz.
The danger of striving for perfection is you'll NEVER achieve it, meaning you're doomed to constantly be disappointed in yourself. Nothing you do will ever be good enough.
Yup. When I made that realization, my world shifted a little bit. Now, I think Emily might be onto something with this whole "recovering perfectionist" thing.
Again, I'm writing this post for me as well as for you, so can we make a promise here together? Whether you're actively in the theatre industry or not, whatever project you're working on this week (i.e. anything from an audition or self tape to an interview or work presentation), promise me you'll do your very best to pat yourself on the back when the outcome isn't perfect. Be okay with the silly mistakes! Let them roll off your back and be proud of the rest of it being pretty dang perfect.
When it comes to expectations of ourselves, I think we've all gotten so caught up in the fine details that we fail to appreciate the whole picture. Think about your days in school: if you got a 98% on a test, would you be concerned about that 2%, or do you celebrate the 98% that was correct? For me personally, while I was really crazy about getting good grades, I can't think of a single time where I got a good grade and was bothered by the missing percentage. Imagine how freeing it would be if we could celebrate ourselves in terms of the whole picture rather than the fine details!
So, my homework for this week is to be more accepting of the imperfections, the fine details, and instead being proud of the 98%. Join me in the pursuit! I look forward to finding out how it changes my mindset going into the audition room, on stage, and everywhere in between.
Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and let's recover together!
Comments