Let's be real, guys: this career we've chosen is probably one of the most difficult to endure because of how often you're told "no". In other fields, the most qualified, most experienced, or most talented is most often given the job, plain and simple, but with acting? Even if you have the most credits on your resume or give the best audition of the day, they may decide you're too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too pretty, too ugly, too technical, too untrained, too much of a dancer, too much of a singer, too much of an actor, or a million other things. And there's nothing you can to change their mind -- they already have a vision in mind, and on that day, you simply don't fit into the mold.
This industry is subjective, so it takes a lot of perseverance, getting in the room and getting your name out there, in order to get lucky and have the right casting director or creative team see you. Nothing is promised, and the process can be infinitely frustrating as well as disheartening.
I was faced with a very difficult "no" this last week. It was an incredible opportunity that maybe could have jumpstarted my career. I thought I had a really good shot at it given my credits, I felt that I gave a solid audition, it was realistically attainable, and I did everything right.
Except casting did not do everything right. By gatekeeping the audition so that some submissions were never even seen, let alone considered, I -- and many others -- never stood a chance to begin with.
I have never reacted to a "no" like I did this one. I've certainly had difficult "no's" in the past, but this one was different. I really spiraled into a dark place, and I'm still not feeling back to fighting shape. It was the first big-time "no" I've encountered so far, and the fact that it could have been prevented entirely if casting has handled it better was endlessly frustrating.
But that's the thing: "no's" come in all shapes and sizes. This was my first major blow, but there will undoubtedly be countless others like it.
I'm sure there are more / other lessons I still have to learn from this experience, but there are three that stick out to me so far:
The first is that you have to take opportunities as they come without looking back. You give your all in the room, you exit the building, and you leave that audition behind, focusing instead on the next audition. If you spend all your time and effort waiting around, hoping to hear back about that one audition, you sabotage yourself by missing out on other opportunities that come up in the meantime. And if you do eventually hear back about that audition, requesting more or inviting you to a callback? That's a bonus, not a necessity.
The second is to mourn if you must, but only allow yourself 24 hours. This has ALWAYS been my motto when it comes to auditions that don't go my way, and it's one of the best pieces of advice I have to offer. Getting any "no" sucks, and sometimes they demand to be felt. Wallow and grieve and mourn, absolutely, but then brush yourself off and keep moving forward when you wake up the next morning. You'll feel better once you've acknowledged the feelings and allowed them to flow.
The third is simply to be your own biggest cheerleader. You will never know what's goes on in the room once you leave it -- there is no way for you to know what's being said about you, why they decided against you, or whether you'll ever have a chance with them in the future. And sometimes the reasoning is absolutely absurd and beyond your control -- that's the worst and most crushing. But it's exactly why you have to bolster yourself and know your worth, even when the "no's" are constantly knocking you down. There will always be other auditions, and eventually, you will get a "yes", even a big-time one.
Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and please be encouraging to yourself along the journey.
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