I've said it before countless times, and I'm sure to say it many times after this -- working in the performing arts is unlike all other industries out there.
My nuclear family is big on sports; while I can't say I am a particular fan in general, I do enjoy watching tennis, a favorite of my mom and sister's. There's been a lot of talk recently about tennis in the group chat because one of our favorite players is competing in the Madrid Open right now. With so much conversation about underdogs and dark horses, wins and losses, I couldn't help but stop to consider the absurd difference between my path and an athlete's.
In sports, there are set statistics based on number of matches won and matches lost, and players / teams are placed in rankings according to those numbers as well as other data specific to the sport in question. Meaning that their success ultimately comes down to their numbers, to their ranking, to their percentages (math worming its way into everyday life yet again, curses). But what about an actor's success? A singer's success? A dancer's? A musician's?
Success is a subjective idea, yet as performers, there's this weird pressure and expectation of us that comes from people outside of the industry, both unspoken and sometimes spoken (show of hands, who else has been blatantly asked by a new acquaintance, "Oh you're an actor. Are you in movies, TV, or Broadway?"). Nominations for the Tony awards were announced yesterday -- because that's one of the most publically-known showcases of the theatre industry, does that mean that the outside world holds all of us to THAT standard of success?
I say all this for three reasons. First, I want to acknowledge that pressure we all feel from time to time. It's stressful, it's suffocating! It's so hard to explain to someone that doesn't understand the ins and outs that you're between gigs or unsure of what the next acting paycheck will be -- especially to those that are rooting for you, wishing for your "success" (there's that word again), and having every faith that you'll "make it". Do all you can to let those comments roll off your back; they're well-meaning, but they maybe aren't the best for your mental health.
Second, I want to acknowledge that that same pressure from others can affect and warp your own standard of success. Of course it's difficult to hear those expectations from the outside world, but if they come from your own inner voice? It can be an impossibly difficult task to enjoy any roles you play or gigs you book because your own mind is telling you it's not enough. Don't minimize the wins or let the successes of today pass unacknowledged because you're too worried about what comes next: you'll live in a state of constant anxiety and dissatisfaction (trust me, I speak from experience). I know all too well how easy it is to compare yourself to other actors -- those in your social circle, people you've worked alongside, etc. -- and to think the grass is greener on the other side, to watch others go off and do what you wish you could be doing. But what if I told you that someone else is thinking the exact same thing about you? Everyone has their own path and their own timeline, so stay focused on where you are; enjoy the journey!
Third, I want to reiterate that you -- and only you -- determine the criteria of your own success. Success is dictionary-defined as "the accomplishment of an aim or a purpose", so what's your aim? What do you hope to do in this industry? Take stock of and appreciate every step it takes you to get there because that's you"making it".
In a business where your "success" is determined not by numbers or data but by how you sing 16 bars on a particular day and, more importantly, how the people behind the table feel about it? You have to create your own measure because art itself is subjective, opinions are subjective, and what you think you're perfect for might not work out, whereas something you don't envision for yourself is exactly what casting was looking for. So do this for me: look back over the things you've done recently / are doing and give them the celebration they deserve. Look at that, you're successful!
Thanks for reading, #DreamTeamHLJ, and give yourself some credit -- you're doing it!